you know that pile of things.

After a break up.

Somehow, there is always a pile of things at each other's house.
In his car.
In her bathroom.

In her dryer. For you never know when it will just happen.

The toothbrush you don't really want back.

The pair of shoes you left there.

The stockings.

The swimsuits.
the jewelry.
hairpins.
Socks.. always socks.


Those things. They sweep over your skin with a fondness of nostalgia... and the regret for your behavior. Or, you throw them away.

In my case, after my last major break-up, I took his clothes in my house. Washed them, Ironed them, and put them in a sack and gave them to a friend. That was it. I cried while I ironed them. I still remember it.. in my kitchen in Santa Clara-- big fat tears rolling down my face. "it's a good thing.. it's a good thing.. for the best for the best... damn it.." over and over and over and over.

That's how it went.

Folded them. And into a bag. Passed them off to sweet leland. Went home and packed to go spend a few days in L.A. with Aaron.

Jary never really had anythings at my house. He made this one dramatic attempt to return a kite that was neither of ours-- but rather it was Kristin's. Ironically, when he stopped by to drop it off, I was at "He's just not that into you." with jon.

Nate, he still has my second season of the O.C. I don't expect to ever see it-- despite my request to have it back in October. Whatever. I am not too worried about it-- I mean, truly, how many times can I watch Ryan and Marrissa get back together anyway.



Here's really the impetus behind this post.


Sometime in July-- nearly nine months after Jon and I had broken up-- nearly nine months after I had returned his neatly folded, ironed and washed clothes, I got a package in the mail. With all of my things that were at his house. Well, all of my things that he decided to give back (where are the boogie boards, and my key chain of shiny chattels?). Two night gowns, 2 swimsuits, a pair of slippers, my grandmothers nightgown, some socks, and a ring. The above ring.

It's not mine. I told him, and he said something like "oh shit, can you send it back." no doubt it is his new girlfriend's. I said ok.

I had all intentions of sending it back and could not find it. I just found it today as was sifting through the desk drawer upstairs.... trying to decide what to keep and what to toss... there it was. Yesterday, sifting through the same desk's drawers I found a note that I had written to Jon that was going to accompany the ring. I just threw it away yesterday, and have now dug it out.



It read as follows:

Jon:
I was going to go ahead and send you a pair of the guy I'm dating's socks with this ring. Just to be funny. But then I realized I don't have any of his sox in my house. But I did have a few of yours. hopefully now you will have so more mates.
I hope you are happy and well... you are always invited to pay me a visit. I have an extra bed.
Ashley. PS Make leland pay me $10. we made a bet and he owes me.
__________

I've decided to just send the ring and omit the letter now. i don't care about the $10. And I am sure that she just wants her ring back that was accidently sent to me-- how horrible a fate.
____________________

I am listening to Herbie Hancock and burning Nag Champa just to feel free spirited.
_

Don't slouch while remembering to live on the strait and narrow.