My Camera.

As it turns out, I was right. My camera had been left at matt's house.

He found it when he was looking for his lost wallet. So, in due time, I will be able to put my camera back to good use... taking pictures of chickens etc.

I had a dose of depression this morning. Like I was living someone elses life.. but not my own. this happens from time to time. ... where I feel that if everyone who loved me was dead-- i would live my life completly differently. Mainly because then there would be no accountability to anyone for my decisions-- and how it affected them.. but rather I could do exactly what was best 100% for me as I saw it.

You know, how often do you really want to sit around with a bunch of people 30+ years older than you and discuss church leadership.....

Or how about, my hair... I hate how long it is. While I realize that I may look more attractive.. I hate blowing it dry.. and combing it out etc. It takes up a whole portion of my day that could better be spent on a bike ride.

Or how about the fact, that everytime I try to do anything-- shower, go running in the morning etc.. SOMEONE CALLS ME. And if I don't answer thye have someone else try to get ahold of me. As though it is the most imminently important thing in the world that I fill a tractor with gas, or take a garbage can over to the other house.


but, I took a shower.. and I felt better. It was a long shower. And the phone rang while I was in there... and I ignored it. It was amazing.

Sometimes it just feels good to ignore people... but then... when you turn your phone back on... it's all there again. ALL THERE.

... I could change my number. If Tarika from folders.com calls me one more time.. so help me. I feel like telling her "I DONT WANT YOUR OVERPRICED STUPID FOLDERS.. FOR THE FINAL TIME.. I REGRET CONTACTING YOU AND DONT YOU DARE CONTACT ME EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER Again." but, instead, I say "hello, this is ashley... Oh Tarika, from folders.com? No, Not right now.. we aren't interested in your folders... I will contact you if we are." And then, believe it or not... she calls me back like 4 days later. Dude.