Reading material from Train yesterday...

Yes, I did read a WHOLE marie claire and a whole American Bar Association Journal. Which one taught me more? Obviously Marie Claire.



According to studies, for low divorce risk, you're looking for someone over 25, who finished college—because if he dropped out, he'll quit other things, too—and who grew up with both parents, or one parent in a long subsequent marriage—especially if you didn't. When the wife is a child of divorce, the couple's chances of divorce go up 59 percent; when both partners' parents are divorced, your odds jump 189 percent.


Beware the boyfriend you never fight with. One study followed newlyweds over a three-year period, and many who fought a lot in the beginning were happier after three years, while those who avoided conflict were headed for divorce. And it may seem obvious, but if a guy ever rolls his eyes at you, even when accompanied by nice words or laughter, that is bad news. It's a spontaneous physical expression of contempt, a big predictor of divorce.


MRI studies show that the chemical storm of infatuation is strikingly similar to drug addiction and obsessive-compulsive disorder. That said, though biology drives us, experience shapes us. Tolerating a bad guy for a long time probably says more about your family background or past relationships than your biology. I think this fact alone is the most important to examine of all of them. You train yourself to tolerate mediocrity. Every relationship that you stay in that is "bad" trains you to stay in other bad relationships longer and longer.. until that is what you associate with love and a healthy love relationship. I once read that the first person you date/ love is your association with love. Therefore if that person yells at you, you associate that yelling as a concern for well being rather than an inappropriate way of communicating. Or if the first person you date is lazy, you don't like people who are productive. Etc...


New research out of the University of North Carolina contradicts your mother's theory that marriages fail because expectations are too high. In fact, they tend to be met by a marriage—so if yours are low, you'll have a marriage without good communication, romance, or passion. If they're high, there's an excellent chance you and your mate will live up to them, and hopefully live happily ever after.I find that a lot of girls act as though expecting great things is a flaw. They critisize themselves for wanting more or expecting more. They say things like "choose to be happy." While I do agree that you should choose to be happy, you need not do that before you are married to someone. And don't fool yourself, choosing to be happy with someone works for a little while-- but that's all you are doing, is fooling yourself and once you catch on-- you are in trouble.


I suppose trusting my love life to Marie Claire is essentially equivalent to trusting my fashion to Matt Leavitt-- actually Matt has good taste-- and a whole rubbermaid tub of blue jeans... and a whole walk in closet full of clothes that are nice and tasteful. Lots of Ed Hardy :) (kidding)