Bad days are made like these

This morning on the bus I started reading a chapter in this devotional book..... well, wait, maybe it started last night when the lady (who was a real piece of work... met her husband in a cult/ commune in oakland.. doesn't really work but does odd jobs etc.) I sat next to on the bus said, "you must love your job if you commute 4 hours a day to go to work," and I said, "actually, not 4 hours worth."


Then this morning, on the bus, I was reading the devotional title of the chapter, "God's plan for your life." ... at the end of the chapter was a self-evaluator thing.. It looked like this

Take a few minutes to do the following simple assessment:

Not fulfulled at all ******************************Highly fulfilled

At work


In friendships

In my family life

at church

relationship with god.

What are strength areas for you? What areas do you need to work on?

You guessed it. All left of center. I think that was the first time I cried today.

Then just now when I tried to tell dad that I feel like I do "unimportant" work all day.. then earlier when I was telling my mom that I never hang out with anyone. Or last night when the lady on the bus (who was once a conservative lutheran pastor.. in yoga pants and stockings... ) asked me what faith I was rasied in-- I said Seventh-Day Adventist. She asked me if I liked my church. I said, "actually no. I find everyone to be judging and not very loving. I actually tend to like the people who are older. I really liked my church in CA though... it was in Sunnyvale -- there were loads of people my age who do interesting things, getting their PhD at Stanford or something in exploitation of young women in Thailand. meh. " And then i felt guilty for perpetuating the bad SDA rap. But it's true. There is no one my age at church-- and the ones that are remotely my age are... well.. there aren't any, really.

It's a down day.


I read an article in the Red Eye on my way to work a while back that said people from my generation are dissatisfied when they feel that their jobs, life, etc... has no meaning. I'd say this is an accurate generalization. People older than me tend to care more about business... less about satisfaction and meaning in work, friends, etc...

Maybe a good yoga class would help.