useless

I have come to the place in my life where I feel for the most part everything I do is useless. It means nothing to the big picture of anything.

It's one thing if you are helping no one but you feel like doing what you are doing was your dream. It's a whole new thing if that's not even the case... you know? I've never dreamed of being a wife and mom. I've never dreamed of really doing anything-- so I guess that puts me in a position to not really be able to complain about not doing my "dream"

I guess, for a long time I wanted to be a tour guide in S.E. Asia. I wanted to take rich people on expensive trips that would teach them to be.... poor. Like, my friend from law school.... I wanted to take her on a trip and have her stay somewhere dirty... and teach her what adventure was. Even if it was kicking and screaming :)

That was my dream.

I suppose as you get older you make new dreams that fit in relationships and equity. And then you get caught up in all that and you take your two week trip once a year to South Africa and everyone is SO impressed because you did that.

And you do data entry.

doo wap.