I am not sure what life is supposed to be like. Like this? I don't know.

Maybe we aren't allowed complete satisfaction for fear that we won't need God. But a lot of people don't really "need" God anyway. They don't long for heaven-- and they are o.k. I don't know. I doubt everything I have said thus far.

Let's start over.


I love how my experiences, thoughts, qualifications, and intelligence are moot. My ideas don't matter- and theirs do. And in fact, I would venture to say, that if my ideas were their ideas first-- they'd be the best idea ever. Have you ever felt like that. I do. All the time.

Or like not decorating for Christmas. Because no one would look at it anyway. Whatever. GRINCH. I am going to go get my box of goods and then look at Chapter photos for chapter 8.

Then I am going to go to sleep and have nightmares about pulling out her weave with force. Good night.